


The Real Meaning of Family

by E_J_Morgan



Category: James Bond (Craig movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Gen, Q as a young child
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-04
Updated: 2017-06-20
Packaged: 2018-11-08 23:26:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 15,837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11092101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/E_J_Morgan/pseuds/E_J_Morgan
Summary: James Bond thought his life couldn't get any more complicated. That is, until he finds a tiny, skinny, messy dark haired, bespectacled boy who doesn't have an idea who he is and where he comes from but is smarter than even old Q himself. Now it's up to 006 and 007 to take care of the child until MI6 can find his family.





	1. Chance Encounter

James Bond had just returned to England from a long and overly exhausting mission and wished for nothing more than to just go home to his long-abandoned apartment, take a hot shower then fall into bed and sleep, sleep, sleep… Preferably for many hours undisturbed. However, according to MI6 protocol, before he’d be allowed to do any of these activities, he had to present himself in Headquarters and give the first version of his verbal report to M and the Chief of Staff. Then he would also be required to visit Q-Branch and account for the equipment he had been given for the assignment (or, in his case, explain to the old Quartermaster why he couldn’t give back anything, yet again), and get a clean bill of health from Medical. Only after completing these, would he be permitted to leave and have his peace for a day. Not a minute longer, because after that, he’d have to start working on his written report about the happenings, explaining every little detail, like for example how a Komodo dragon had eaten his weapon, or why he had had to shoot three people and burn down two buildings to ashes in the process of completing his task.

 

And the new M insisted vehemently on keeping to protocol.

 

At first, he had thought nobody could be stricter than Olivia Mansfield had been as the previous leader of the Secret Intelligence Service. But he soon had had to discover that Gareth Mallory was even more determined to make his agents keep to regulations, and while normally he would just ignore instructions like that in favor for doing whatever the hell he himself wished to do, this time he felt like he really shouldn’t hit off the wrong way with the new boss. At least not right away. Who could know what he would be capable of doing as a punishment? He could make his life miserable if he really wished so. James still didn’t know the man enough to completely trust him. Not like he had trusted Mansfield…

 

Anyway, that was the reason for the fact that right now 007 was strolling towards their base in Vauxhall instead of heading to his luxurious apartment on the other end of the city. He hoped to God that he could have his duties over with very quickly and painlessly, and that he would be home as soon as possible afterwards.

 

Of course, Fate wouldn’t grant him even this small mercy.

 

As he walked and arrived at the foot of the bridge, he found a very small, skinny, shivering bundle hiding in plain sight, pressed firmly to the railing, clearly frightened and – at a confirmatory glance – completely abandoned. Nobody seemed to notice the – probably - boy, or to care about his (her?) predicament.

 

James Bond sighed loudly in resignation (‘this is just not my day’) before crouching down next to the little child and speaking gently.

 

“Hey, buddy, what’s up? Where are your parents?”

 

The small boy (by now Bond was sure it _was_ actually a boy) just curled into himself even more but didn’t acknowledge the question or the man in any way.

 

Bond pinched the bridge of his nose tiredly (‘why is it always me?’) before trying again, more soothingly, if that was even possible.

 

“It’s okay, I won’t hurt you. You don’t have to be afraid. I’d just like to help you.”

 

The small form went still for a second, then agonizingly slowly raised his head just a few inches so that he could peer up at the newcomer with large green eyes. Bond immediately felt like drawing in them. God, these eyes were mesmerizing!

 

The child still refused to speak but Bond took his nonverbal response as encouragement, so he continued gently:

 

“I promise I don’t want to harm you in any way. I just saw that you’re distressed and you seem to be alone. Can I help you? I have a cell phone, I can call your parents or guardians or something if you’re lost…” – He trailed off, not really sure what he should offer. The boy didn’t seem older than 3 or 4 years old. Could he even tell him his family’s number or his address? Or anything at all that could be of help finding his folks?

 

James Bond surely didn’t have any idea about children and about what to expect from them at any age.

 

They boy blinked at that statement and this time his eyes held more curiosity than fright. A good start then…

 

“Listen, kid, I’m sure it’s not good for you to stay here. For one, it’s cold and it looks like it’s going to rain soon. You’ll catch a nasty cold like this. For other, you’re too young to be alone. This is a huge city, full of busses, cars, motorbikes… it can be dangerous for a toddler to be alone.”

 

This had an effect at least; however unexpected it was.

 

The little one’s eyes instantly darkened and threw sparks of fury. He suddenly uncurled himself and stood up tall (well, not a big difference since he was so small but the intent was clear) and declared angrily:

 

“I am NOT a toddler! I’m nearly six years old!” – He also stomped his left foot for good measure and held up two hands, showing five fingers on one and one finger on the other.

 

“Six?” – Asked Bond incredulously. – “I thought six-year-olds were much bigger…” – He trailed off when he saw the child huff in annoyance.

 

“I’m small for my age, so what!?” – Well, that was the understatement of the century. But whatever.

 

“Nothing. It doesn’t matter. Can you tell me your name and address?”

 

“No.”

 

“Look, kiddy, I’m not going to hurt you. I won’t break into your apartment or anything like that. I just want to help.” – He held up his hands in a clear sign of surrender, trying to gain the boy’s trust so that he could help him then finally continue with his own things. – “Can you at least tell me the phone number of your parents?”

 

“No.”

 

Bond sighed again. Life just couldn’t be easy for him, could it?

 

“What do you think I would do with the information aside from calling your folks or bringing you home to them?”

 

“I don’t know. But I can’t tell you any of these things, as I simply do not know the answers.”

 

“What!? What do you mean you don’t know the answers? You just said you were six years old! I’m not an expert but I’m pretty sure you should be able to remember your personal data, like name and address, by now!”

 

The boy flopped back down onto the pavement, laughing bitterly.

 

“I’m pretty sure about that as well. And still: I have no idea.”

 

“Don’t play games with me! I didn’t ask about the 43rd digit of pi! I asked who you were and where you came from!”

 

“3.”

 

“What?”

 

“3 is the 43rd digit of pi.” – Explained the boy patiently.

 

Bond shook his head in exasperation.

 

“You really want me to believe that you have no clue who you are; you know nothing about yourself except for your age; and yet you not only know what pi is but can also tell me without even having to think about it for a second its random digits?”

 

“I don’t care whether you believe it or not, mister, but it’s exactly like that.”

 

“You realize it’s completely insane, right?”

 

“Yes.”

 

The agent felt a horrible headache approaching and wondered if it would be very cruel to just walk away and leave the boy to his own devices, pretending they had never met. But however insolent the little brat was now, Bond just couldn’t forget how he had huddled scared and freezing just mere minutes ago, clad only in jeans, well-worn trainers and a thin T-shirt; messy dark hair sticking out in every direction like a bird’s nest. Somehow even with his admittedly very limited knowledge on children, he was sure the boy’s cheekiness originated from his fear and hopelessness rather than him deliberately wanting to be rude.

 

He took a deep breath before coming to a decision.

 

“Okay. I’ll tell you what we’re gonna do: You’ll come with me to where I work and I’ll take you to my boss there. This is a huge international organization that will be able to help you find out who you are. All right?”

 

“An ‘international organization’?” – The boy repeated with suspicion. – “Do you maybe belong to a sect?”

 

Bond didn’t know whether to laugh or shout in frustration.

 

“No, lad, this is in no way a sect. It’s a military organization.” – And he pointed towards the building that housed their Headquarters.

 

The little one’s eyes instantly got as round as saucers.

 

“You mean you work for MI6!?”

 

The agent raised an eyebrow in amusement at that.

 

“You have an interesting kind of amnesia, I’m telling you.”

 

“I do not appreciate being made fun of, Mr…”

 

“Bond. James Bond. I’m not even going to ask for your name again. Well, come on, then.” – And with that he grabbed the reluctant youngster’s arm and all but dragged him into the building.


	2. Temporary Arrangements

007 had around five minutes ago finished recounting to M and Tanner how he had encountered the stray child on his way earlier that day, and now everyone was sitting in silence; each man deep in thoughts about the matter.

 

The little boy didn’t seem to mind being the center of attention; most probably given the fact that he himself was too engrossed in taking in everything in the office to even notice the others. He seemed to find being inside the Headquarters of Britain’s Secret Intelligence Service fascinating enough to overlook some inconveniences in favor to be able to fully appreciate this opportunity. That might have been the reason for him not having complained even once about the way Bond had literally dragged him inside.

 

At one point during the three adults’ ‘boring’ debates about his own future, he had gone as far as even getting up (more like jumping down, since he was so tiny) from the armchair he had previously been steered into, and had started to wander around the room, inspecting each book, map and document he could find and reach with great interest. M had first thought about stopping him, seeing that everything in here was top secret of the nation… but what wrong could a six-year-old child do with them? Surely, there was nothing to fear.

 

Or maybe there was…

 

“Sirs? These calculations are not entirely correct.” – Chirped the pint-sized intruder, gesturing towards a paper bearing incredibly confusing-looking diagrams and equations.

 

The grown-ups looked at him dumbfounded. In the end, it was Tanner who found his voice first.

 

“What are you talking about, son?”

 

The child stood on tiptoe to be able to point out each fault he had found.

 

“This coordinate here is 0,0002° off towards East if you do the math ordinary. And this angle of laser would result in a slightly bigger destruction than is absolutely necessary to take out the enemy’s hiding place.”

 

Tanner lost his words again. M opened and closed his mouth a few times without getting a sound out. Bond just smirked.

 

“Oh, have I forgotten to mention? The boy is a genius.”

 

“Yes, 007. You seem to have forgotten that little detail.” – Answered M darkly through gritted teeth.

 

James shrugged and smiled innocently.

 

“Well, then I’m saying it now: he is very smart for being a six-year-old shrimp. Or for anyone for that matter. Maybe he’d even give old Q a run for his money.”

 

“You should have said something sooner. Now we have let him see things nobody who understands them should have had access to. Now we’ve got a problem.” – Warned M.

 

“Oh, come on, sir. It’s not like he could learn everything just by looking at the documents once. He might be exceptionally smart, I’ll give him that, but he’s not a computer. By tomorrow, he’ll have forgotten it all.” – Reasoned Tanner. He himself had two little children at home: a girl of nine and a boy of seven. He knew very well that children’s attention span was by around five minutes at that age. Their fascination with things changed quicker than a whirlwind. There was no way the boy would still be interested the next day in anything he had learnt now.

 

The little one chose that precise moment to start listening to them and add his own two cents to the argument.

 

“I have a photographic memory. I never forget.” – He stated matter-of-factly, with no hint of boasting in his voice at all. He was just telling them the truth.

 

A truth that meant they were indeed in great trouble.

 

Bond just wanted to bang his head into M’s desk. He groaned at the innocent-looking child.

 

“If you have a photographic memory, why can’t you use it to remember your own life?”

 

The child rolled his eyes in annoyance, before apparently deciding not to bother with idiotic adults anymore. He took – without asking for permission first of course – a pen out of the director’s most treasured collection and started his own calculations on what looked like 002’s upcoming mission’s charts. He was already lost to them again.

 

“Jesus.” – Was M’s response. – “You all realize what that means, right? I mean, the boy doesn’t have a family to claim him and doesn’t know his name or where he lives. He saw sensitive data and learnt military secrets. _He will have to stay here!_ ”

 

**J * B * J * B * J * B * J * B * J * B * J * B * J * B**

 

“So, if I’m already going to live here, may I correct the mistakes in the other mission plans too? I would improve them greatly, I swear! And then the next time you want to do calculations like that, just ask me. Computers aren’t that reliable when it comes to precise planning; they can’t think for themselves, you know. They only work with what people give them. And usually that’s already something stupid. And---“

 

“Shut up! Just, shut up, Mini-Q!” – Groaned Bond, massaging his temple and squeezing his eyes shut in pain. – “Just let me think for a second, please. I need to _think_.”

 

“Okay…” – Nodded the boy in understanding. He leaned against the wall in the corridor they were currently standing, and waited patiently. For twelve whole seconds. – “What are you thinking about? Maybe we could think together? Especially if it’s about me, because then I have a right to----“

 

“Arrrgh!” – Bond had to fight the urge to bang his head into the wall. – “Can’t we go back to the phase where you still hated me and didn’t want to talk to me at all?”

 

“But I don’t hate you anymore. You’re nice to me. You brought me here, and defended me against your boss and then you agreed to take me in for the time being…”

 

That was sadly true, even though the midget seemed to have forgotten that he had had no other choice but to agree to take him in. M had made it quite clear in no uncertain terms that this whole mess was his fault so he should be the one to suffer because of it first. So now he was stuck with an overexcited, bouncing, happy and bubbly little genius of a preschooler, and with no idea whatsoever what to do with him.

 

This was all so messed up!

 

“Listen, Mini-Q---“

 

“Don’t call me that!”

 

“Why, do you know your name?”

 

“You know I don’t.”

 

“Then you’ll just have to put up with whatever the hell I want to call you---“

 

“You just said a bad word!”

 

“--- so, I agreed to take you in for the time being. That means, you’ll sleep in the apartment I share with a friend. He’s slightly crazy, so you should like him, if he comes back while you’re there. But it doesn’t mean I’m gonna play daddy for you. I’m sorry, but I’m no good with kids. Understand?”

 

The little boy just huffed and rolled his eyes again in a very insolent manner.

 

“Come on, I know that, deep down, you like me…” – The boy trailed off, looking a bit lost, as if not quite sure about his words. It was heart wrenching.

 

The feared agent felt totally trapped in this situation. Usually, he would solve problems like that using his gun and a few explosives. But this time it was a little boy causing him headache, and he obviously couldn’t kill a child. So, he just sighed helplessly, took one small hand into his own, much bigger one, and led his new companion towards the garage where his car was waiting for them.

 

One good thing had come out of this situation at least: in all the chaos, M and Tanner both seemed to have forgotten about sending him to Medical.

 

**J * B * J * B * J * B * J * B * J * B * J * B * J * B**

 

“And this is going to be your room during the time you’ll spend here.” – Finished Bond the grand tour around the apartment, opening the door to the never used and nearly totally bare guest bedroom, and motioning for the boy to enter. – “I know it’s not much… You can decorate it if you want… ahm… well. Tanner promised to bring for you a few things later from his own kids.”

 

The miniature boy looked very sad and lost, standing in the middle of the strange and unfriendly room, seemingly not too sure what to say or do. He just looked around silently. There was a king-sized bed, two nightstands with a reading lamp on top of each and an empty cupboard, but nothing else. No pictures on the walls, no colors, not even a shelf for books or – God forbid – toys. The apartment was just as cold and unfriendly as its occupant.

 

The child seemed close to tears and Bond couldn’t take it.

 

“Alec won’t be home for a few days. He’s on a miss--- away on a business trip. You’ll have time to get used to your surroundings first before you’ll have to deal with him.”

 

“Okay.”

 

“Are you hungry?”

 

“No.”

 

“When was the last time you ate?”

 

“I don’t know.”

The agent sighed in frustration.

 

“Come on then.”

 

Bond was in the middle of preparing scrambled eggs for an early dinner when there was a knock on the door. He soon led Bill Tanner, the Chief of Staff, into the kitchen.

 

“Would you like to join us? There’s enough for three.” – He asked, hoping he wouldn’t have to spend the whole afternoon and evening alone with a sulking kid.

 

“Ah, well, I think I could eat a bit.” – Smiled Tanner as if reading Bond’s mind, and sat down next to the boy.

 

The agent mouthed a heartfelt ‘thanks’ above the little one’s head at the man.

 

“So, kiddo, I’ve brought you a few clothes that my son used to wear, but don’t worry, they’re not ragged at all. He was that size at 4 though, so there may be some childish cartoon figures and scripts on the T-shirts… Sorry, my wife insisted on buying the children ‘cute’ things.” – He explained apologetically. Seeing that the boy didn’t respond but was listening intently, he continued. – “I also brought a few toys and books, since I didn’t think this pair of deep-seated bachelors would be equipped with anything for a child. Now, I know very well you’re not an ordinary six-year-old, but I’m sure you’ll find some of them to your liking.”

 

The boy still remained silent but he perked up noticeably at the mention of toys and books. Bond felt a new surge of gratitude towards the other man for his thoughtfulness. He had been already thinking about needing to go out and do some shopping to not let the boy sleep in a cold, impersonal guest bedroom. It just seemed like a too cruel thing to do, especially considering the circumstances.

 

The six-year-old sheepishly smiled at the visitor and stole a glance at his bag. Both adults noticed it of course but they didn’t want to mention it, lest it would make the boy even shyer. He wasn’t eating his food at all, just playing around with it; they didn’t want to worsen things even further.

 

After a bit of consideration, Tanner said with twinkling eyes:

 

“Ah, I don’t really know what to do with that enormous bag. I carried it up the stairs with great difficulty but my arms are hurting now…”

 

Bond took the hint and continued.

 

“I would gladly help you but I’m a bit sore after my long travel. I guess it can stay here for now.”

 

The little boy slid down from his chair and stood nervously in front of Tanner.

 

“Sir… Is that bag really for me?”

 

“Why, of course, little one, I just said so. And please, call me Bill.”

 

“Bill… Then maybe I should be the one helping you carry it into the room? I mean, if you’ve already gone to all the trouble because of me…”

 

“Oh, son, it’s no trouble at all! But if you think you could carry it… I’d be very happy.”

 

“Yes!” – He swiftly lifted the bag onto his shoulder and all but raced to the door of the kitchenette. From there he turned back with a huge smile. – “It’s not even that heavy. Or I’m stronger than I thought I was!”

 

“I’m sure it’s the latter, kid.” – Said Bond, carefully keeping his face straight. It wouldn’t do to laugh at the boy now.

 

“Thank you, sir… Bill… for everything!” – And with that, the small child disappeared into the guest bedroom to look through his new belongings.

 

The adults could soon hear excited shouts when he found the clothes, superhero magazines and stuffed animals. Also, he discovered that another bag with books from Mark Twain, C. S. Lewis and J. K. Rowling had already been sat beside his bed.

 

Not surprisingly, he didn’t reappear from the room until bath time. 


	3. Alec Returns

‘Mini-Q’, as everyone called him these days, had quickly and easily settled in to life in MI6 and living with James Bond. The once guest bedroom was now semi-permanently his. The king-sized bed had been replaced by a single child’s bed and the two nightstands with a smaller one, designed for children, bearing a turtle-shaped lamp. Now there was also a little desk and numerous shelves loaded with books. The ones brought by ‘Uncle Bill’ had been joined by other titles like various Roald Dahl novels and the whole set of Mary Poppins volumes. Not to mention Mini-Q’s most treasured ones: the Paddington bear books. Bond had found to his great amusement that however crazily smart the boy was, he was still a child in many aspects. For example, he preferred to read children’s books before going to bed instead of his also favorite university level math and physics studies, and he also liked to watch age-old cartoons like Tom and Jerry or the Smurfs each morning while drinking his Earl Grey. (Thus far he had absolutely refused to drink anything else but that, so Bond had reluctantly stored up an unnaturally amount of it in his kitchen. Even if he wasn’t entirely sure it was beneficial for a child that small and young.)

 

The boy had pinned posters about his favorite story-characters all over the room and had left only one little space right above his desk free for (for James Bond at least) unintelligible calculations and diagrams drawn up by the minute genius himself. The whole room was a great contradictory combination of a young child and an ancient, crazy professor – just like its habitant himself.

 

He also liked, as James Bond had had the misfortune to discover rather unpleasantly on the first morning, to tinker with anything electronic. Nothing was sacred for him and no device was safe in the flat. As soon as he had lost his shyness around the agent and had started to claim the whole apartment as his own territory (so around his second day staying there), he had taken the microwave to pieces (the agent had wanted to heat up a soup for himself and had found big part of the machine missing), then continued with the television, the hi-fi and all the remote controls. The man had seen the little one look calculatingly at his personal laptop so he had taken to carry it with him all around to keep it safe. It had worked for three entire days. On day four, Bond had made the mistake of going to take a shower and leaving the computer on his bed unprotected. (Well, if you didn’t count the two locks on the door that had seemingly had no effect whatsoever on the boy.) By the time he had emerged again, the child was sitting on the floor in the middle of _his_ bedroom with an expression of endless concentration on his tiny, elf-like face, and had had computer parts scattered all around him in a neat circle. To be fair it needed to be mentioned that in just four hours he had put it back together again and ever since that it had been running faster and safer than ever before.

 

The child still didn’t remember what had happened to him and how he had come to be on the bridge the day Bond had found him. MI6 had also still been unable to find out anything about him, but by now it was just a common knowledge that they had a resident child-genius among them and nobody seemed very inclined to work against it. The computers were set to run the search and diagnostics around the clock and that was it. Since they didn’t have much to go by anyway, it looked like the child could settle in for long-term residence. Even Bond had stopped complaining about having involuntarily gained a protegee and never again mentioned to anyone that initially M had only made him take the boy temporarily (‘for a couple of days’) and had promised to soon make other arrangements for him.

 

Whenever Bond had to go into HQ, he took Mini-Q with him and dropped him off in Q-Branch for the entire duration of their stay. The minions were the best babysitters ever, since they didn’t think of the task as duty but as a source of endless amusement, and the boy loved it there as well. Major Boothroyd, the Quartermaster, (referred to as ‘Old-Q’ since the little one’s arrival) adored the minute genius and had declared upon their first meeting determinedly that he would make the cheeky intruder his apprentice one day. Mini-Q could help the boffins with anything they were doing; be it a difficult coding or brainstorming for new exploding weapons. Whatever it was they asked him to do, he threw himself into it with glee.

 

The status quo had been like that for nearly a month when one Alec Trevelyan, aka 006, suddenly arrived back from his long-term mission in Russia in the middle of the night; blooded and bruised. He, of course, even more so than Bond, liked to ignore the protocol about visiting HQ first, so he just banged into the apartment without anyone knowing about him even being back in the country. And that had been a big mistake.

 

Bond woke to a very loud shrilling with a start and it took him about a second to determine that it was his alarm system.

 

‘What the hell!?’ – He thought as he raced out of his bedroom to check what was happening. Nobody had ever been foolish enough to try to break into the apartment of two assassins and he couldn’t figure out why anyone would have started this – for them – unhealthy profession right now.

 

As soon as he barged into the living room, he found a figure covered from head to toe in what looked like indigo blue paint, hair full of what he assumed was colorful confetti. The man was swearing loudly and trying – and failing – to get rid of something very small but surprisingly quick that was vigorously attacking him.

 

007 quickly stopped the alarm then turned to the two others.

 

“Mini-Q, what are you doing!?” – Shouted Bond and it had an immediate effect: the little boy let go of the intruder and turned to his surrogate guardian to explain the situation.

 

“This here is a criminal invader, James!” – He accused, pointing a bony, sharp finger at the unfortunate man’s stomach, stabbing him painfully. – “He broke in!”

 

James Bond, sighed and pressed his hands to his forehead as if trying to get rid of a headache.

 

“So, let me get this straight: you thought that someone broke in so you attacked them alone instead of waking me up and asking for help, boy?”

 

The small boy shrugged sheepishly.

 

“I watched Home Alone so I knew what to do. I didn’t want to disturb you.”

 

The newcomer snorted and rubbed his arm.

 

“That menace bit me! At first I thought it was a dog!” – He complained. – “And why doesn’t my code work on the alarm? I tried it two times and it didn’t deactivate it.”

 

Bond looked at the boy with a threatening glare and the little one shuffled his feet uncomfortably.

 

“I… well… I might have changed the system a bit…”

 

“A bit?”

 

“Okay… A lot. But I improved it, I swear! It was an old, useless thing and now it’s genial and much safer than before!” – He defended himself.

 

“I’ve been coming and going with the old code the whole time and I’ve never encountered any problems with it. How is it possible then?”

 

“Because it doesn’t matter what you put in, it recognizes your fingerprint now.” – The boy explained proudly. – “I added yours and mine. But I didn’t want to discourage you because you were so proud of your ‘indecipherable’ code. Well, of course I guessed it on first try… Anyway, I didn’t know anyone else was entitled to come in.”

 

Bond just sighed and shook his head as if nothing he had heard had surprised him in the slightest. The other man looked between them, absolutely flabbergasted.

 

“What is going on here? Who is that pint-sized monster, James?”

 

“Let me introduce you Mini-Q. Mini-Q, this is Alec Trevelyan. My best friend and colleague. He lives here as well.”

 

The small one paled considerably at the revelation.

 

“Alec Trevelyan? Agent 006? But I thought he was abroad…?”

 

“I came back, obviously. And I don’t think I have to ask the meaning of the name.” – Answered Alec, studying his miniature opponent. – “And may I inquire what you’re doing here?”

 

“I live here!” – Replied the boy immediately, standing up tall in order to give more effect to his words. – “This is my home!”

 

“WHAT!? James? What’s the meaning of that?”

 

“This is quite a long story. I think you should clean yourself up a bit before we go into more details, Alec. It will take a while…”

 

The agent considered his rumpled state before answering.

 

“All right, James, but after that, I want to hear everything!”

 

**J * B * J * B * J * B * J * B * J * B * J * B * J * B**

 

It was an hour and a half later when James finished explaining to Alec (whose hair was blond again and even the paint had been washed off) about how he had come to have taken a child into the apartment as a third resident. In the meanwhile, they had even tended to the agent’s wounds so that he was looking quite presentable, if a bit tired.

 

The little one had gone back into his own room (Alec had never once questioned why the once guest bedroom was referred to as child’s own property already) right after the introductions, and they hadn’t seen or heard him ever since, so it was only the two friends conversing in the living room, sitting comfortably on the couch, each nursing a bottle of beer. James hoped the child was sleeping as he should be, instead of beating himself up about the misfortunate happenings with Alec’s arrival.

 

“So, he really doesn’t know who he is?”

 

“Yep.”

 

“And MI6 has been unable to find anything on him in a month?”

 

“Exactly.”

 

“But how is it possible? Q-Branch has access to all information imaginable! And that boy… He seems to be able to do about anything!”

 

“Beats me. Well, I guess, it’s not easy if they don’t even know his name or where he’s from. But they’ll find something, I’m sure.” – Why didn’t he sound more hopeful? He should be eager to get rid of the troublemaker and go back to his for him normal, 'kill everyone who so much as looks at you the wrong way'-life, right?

 

“And until then he’ll live here with us?”

 

“Officially, he should be living with someone else by now; probably Tanner. We agreed to switch from time to time. But, I dunno… I just don’t think it’s good for a child to be moving from one home to another all the time. He needs a reliable environment and steady routines, so that he can feel safe. He’s still very young and vulnerable after all.”

 

Alec gave his best friend a doubtful glance.

 

“He attacked and bit me, James, and has transferred our apartment into a killer weapon that can turn against us anytime. What’s so _vulnerable_ about that!?”

 

“Yeah… He’s a bit… eccentric. I haven’t met anyone like that before, let alone a small child. But he’s a nice little tyke when he doesn’t think you’re a burglar; you’ll see.”

 

Alec raised an eyebrow at that.

 

“Nice, hmm? I can’t wait to find out. I think I should introduce myself to him properly tomorrow anyway. We might not have started out the best way, I’m afraid.”

 

“Just be sure you make a good impression on second try. I’m not fully convinced you’d win if it became a competition between the two of you for the right to live here. He does have nasty tricks up his sleeve, that one.”

 

**J * B * J * B * J * B * J * B * J * B * J * B * J * B**

 

The introduction happened first thing in the morning when the pint-sized boy walked out of _his_ room seemingly still half-asleep, rubbing his eyes, and climbed up onto _his_ stool by the kitchen counter to grab _his_ mug. A Q-mug from the Scrabble set, of course, present from Moneypenny.

 

However ridiculous it was, the agent felt as if he were on his very first job interview as he greeted the child, trying not to frighten him any more than he already seemed to be and also aiming to make a good impression. Not that he honestly believed the boy could chase him away. He couldn’t, could he? So, why it mattered to him at all, he didn’t know and didn’t take the time to analyze.

 

“Hello. I’m sorry if I scared you yesterday. If I had known you’re here, I’d have knocked.”

 

The skinny boy tried to hide behind his beloved mug and only chanced a hesitant glance at the frightening stranger above the top of it. He didn’t seem nearly as feisty as the day before, the morning light probably making everything clearer for him. For example, the fact, that he had attacked a dangerous assassin, a double-o agent the night before. An agent who lived here and was James Bond’s best friend. Someone, who had the capacity of sending him away if he got annoyed enough with him. Or killing him. But the former option seemed scarier.

 

The small one took a big breath before saying very rapidly:

 

“Mr. Agent Trevelyan, I’m very sorry I bit you. And for kicking you. And for the paint and confetti. And the alarm system and---“

 

“Hey, it’s okay! Forget it, all right? I frightened you when I entered unannounced and your reaction was understandable. You wanted to protect the apartment and if I want to be honest, I’m quite impressed. You’ll have to show me how you did the modifications. And it’s simply Alec.”

 

The boy nodded but quivered again.

 

“I’m also sorry about your Blu-ray player…”

 

Alec blinked confusedly.

 

“Why?”

 

“I needed some parts of it…”

 

“WHAT!?”

 

“But it was a very outdated model by now! You’ve been away for quite a while, by now there are much better options. I’ll help you look for a new player… and also a new television, the one you have is a joke, it’s not even HD.” – The child hurriedly reassured the man.

 

The agent pinched his nose, trying to remind himself again that he was dealing with preschooler (well, according to his age, anyway) and not a terrorist to be eliminated.

 

“You know what, scamp? I’m willing to overlook everything that happened if I can teach you poker! Do we have a deal?” – Asked the man, already fishing for his brand-new stack of cards he had originally wanted to open with James.

 

“Cool!”

 

**J * B * J * B * J * B * J * B * J * B * J * B * J * B**

 

Of course, he hadn’t anticipated, that for the genius boy, it only took fifteen minutes to learn everything there was to know about the game and then another half an hour to begin winning all hands fair and square.

 

Alec huffed in annoyance after the fifth time Mini-Q beat him. It was getting increasingly embarrassing.

 

“Are you sure you’re not counting cards?” – He asked through gritted teeth. Never had anyone bested him like that! Not even James-bloody-poker-king-Bond.

 

“I don’t know. What’s that mean?”

 

“Oh, never mind, just forget it. Let’s go again.”

 

The little one whooped and proceeded to outsmart his newest friend for the sixth time in a row. That was how Bond found them a few hours later when he arrived with a pile of bags from the shopping trip he had done.

 

“Alec, what are you doing still at home? Didn’t you need to go to Vauxhall to give your report to M? And you were supposed to take Mini-Q with you as well.”

 

006 looked up panicky.

 

“Oh, shit!”


	4. An Assignment for 006 and 007

To say that M hadn’t been impressed with 006 to have forgotten about his responsibilities as an agent in favor for playing with their charge would be an understatement. Not the best way to introduce himself to his – for him – new boss. Anyway, that had been weeks ago and even Mallory couldn’t hold a grudge for that long, so everything was all right now.

 

Alec and Mini-Q had of course become the best of friends during that time and Bond usually felt like he didn’t only have one small child to raise but two. Who would have thought Alec still had the troublemaker in him? Well, it seemed that everyone, except for one naive James Bond. Certainly, nobody else was surprised at all when those two teamed up against 007 and wreaked havoc in the apartment with combined effort.

 

Like, for example, on Mini-Q’s birthday party. Not that anyone knew when exactly he had birthday, but they thought he still should have a day for celebration, so they just named a date and declared it to be the boy’s sixth birthday. Since he was still as small as a four-year-old, it didn’t really matter anyway.

 

Tanner and his wife attended with their daughter and son; Eve came with her current boyfriend (a med student called Terence) and even Mallory made an appearance, followed by old Q, R and a few Q-Branch workers.

 

The problems began when the boy opened the present from Alec and found a set of fireworks in it. The glee in his eyes scared everyone and soon the agent and little child rushed out onto the street to try out the gift. While they (and Tanner’s kids) thought that the show was ‘wonderful’ and ‘brilliant’, neither of the neighbors was very impressed and, as a result, James had to deal with the angered ladies from flats number 2 and 4 on their floor, yelling at him with annoyingly shrill voices about their frightened dogs and cats not being able to sleep because of all the racket.

 

That wasn’t everything though. 006 had also presented the boy with a real chemistry kit.

 

“Have you lost your mind, Alec, giving the kid even more munition to destroy things? He can do just fine on his own, without extra tools! Couldn’t you have simply given him some stuffed animals, books or clothes just like the others?”

 

“Oh, come on, Jamesy! Don’t be a spoilsport, what are you: an old man? Where is your sense of adventure? Kid’s a genius, he’s not going to burn anything down or create poisonous gas to kill us with! Well, maybe to sedate potential burglars, mind you---“

 

“Don’t encourage him!”

 

“--- just give him a break!”

 

“I’m so going to kill you, Alec!” – Hissed James, trying not to show his disdain in front of the glowing child. No need to spoil his happiness when it was too late to stop the destruction he knew was coming anyway.

 

Mallory chose that moment to motion for the two of them to step to the side for a private chat.

 

“Gentlemen, sorry to interrupt your friendly bickering, but I’ve got something to tell you. And you’re not going to like it…”

 

“Please, M, tell me _you_ didn’t buy the boy a bomb or something of that sort!”

 

M chuckled.

 

“No, Agent Bond, I can assure you that, unlike Agent Trevelyan here, I still have a sense of self preservation. No, what I need to tell you is of a different nature… Agents: as of on Monday, both of you are heading out for a mission to Greece.”

 

The two men looked stunned at their boss. Surely, he couldn’t send them both out at the same time…?

 

“But, with all due respect, sir…” – Began Alec when he could find his voice again. – “I just came back and I thought I deserved a bit of downtime. I mean, what happens to Mini-Q while we’re gone?”

 

M sighed sadly.

 

“You’re right, 006, and I’m sorry, but I need two of our best, who can work excellently together. I know that my predecessor held the team you two make to a very high esteem, stating in her notes that you can manage almost anything when combining your efforts. This time it’s very important that we do it fast and right at first try. There’s no other pair available I can think of who would guarantee such efficiency.”

 

Bond blinked, unable to protest against the praise but understanding Alec’s problem at the same time. M had worded his order very cleverly, that was for sure. What was there to say to that? Except perhaps…

 

“How long do you estimate it will take, sir?”

 

“If everything goes according to plan, it shouldn’t take more than a week. It’s not a long-term assignment, gentlemen, I promise.”

 

Well, okay, one week wasn’t so bad. Mini-Q understood they had to work and would be fine with having to live with someone else temporarily. Hopefully.

 

**J * B * J * B * J * B * J * B * J * B * J * B * J * B**

 

The boy had actually handled the unwelcome news quite bravely, assuring his two ‘guardians’ (though neither man could recall when they had been named that officially… if ever) he’d be all right as long as they’d be safe and came back in one piece as soon as possible.

 

So, in the end it had been decided after much debate that the little one should stay with M during the absence of the two agents, seeing that at Tanner’s house – while the Chief of Staff had assured them he’d be ready to help whenever needed – Mini-Q couldn’t have an own room. They just weren’t sure how he’d handle having to share with two, totally different children. True, he had liked them on his birthday party well enough, but it was different to stay somewhere for days.

 

Mallory, on the other hand, had a big apartment with a guest bedroom and lots of space for the boy to use for his things. He needed it too, seeing that he arrived with an enormous bag, full of books and toys.

 

“Hey, buddy. Did you bring your whole closet?” – Asked the leader of MI6 half-joking, half-exasperated, as the tiny child dragged his luggage in the general direction of the room that he had been informed would be his for the time being.

 

“No, just the essentials, sir.” – Answered the little one, groaning under the weight. Trevelyan soon took pity on him and went to help.

 

Bond remained with the boss alone in the living room and turned towards him.

 

“Thank you for taking him in, sir. I hope he won’t be much trouble… no promises though. Oh, and be mindful of your belonging, especially anything electronic.”

 

“Why? What’s wrong with electronics?”

 

“Ahm… well… He likes playing with them.”

 

“It’s okay, we’ve all seen what he’s capable of, I’m sure he can manage to switch on the television without making it explode.”

 

The man really was clueless, Bond thought. He wondered if he should phrase the warning so that even the man would understand but then decided against it: Mallory would find out soon enough on his own.

 

“Just pay attention, M, that’s all.” – He said finally.

 

“He’s a fine young man, Agent Bond, don’t worry. We’ll have a great time. I have a niece, you know, I’m not completely inept with children. And he won’t be here alone; I’ll take him to Vauxhall for the day. He likes to tinker in Q-Branch anyway.”

 

The agent gave up and sighed.

 

“All right, all right.”

 

When the boy and 006 appeared again, Bond kneeled in front of the tiny child and grasped his narrow shoulders. He looked for all the world like a very concerned father sending his child off to summer camp for the first time ever.

 

“You remember what we talked about, right?”

 

“Yes, James.”

 

“You’ll behave for Mr. Mallory and do as he says.”

 

“Yes, James.”

 

“You won’t dismantle his microwave, laptop or any other device. Not even to improve them. Got it?”

 

“Yes, James.”

 

“Are you even paying attention to me?”

 

“Yes, James.”

 

“You won’t be allowed to leave the room the whole time. Not even to go to the bathroom.”

 

“Yes Ja--- What?”

 

“I’m glad you’ve been at least halfway listening. Will you be all right here?”

 

“Of course, don’t worry! I’m a big boy!”

 

“That you are.” – Giggled Alec. – “Jamesy, leave the munchkin alone, you’re being annoyingly overprotective! He doesn’t need us hovering.”

 

Despite that, Trevelyan himself seemed rather reluctant to get going as well.

 

“So… well… don’t do anything I wouldn’t do, all right?”

 

“Yes, Alec. But you need to go now or you’ll miss the plane. Shoo, shoo!”

 

“You seem very eager to get rid of us!” – Laughed 006.

 

But it was true, they were indeed on a tight schedule, so they raffled the messy hair affectionately (the boy groaned at that, claiming his hair was already messy enough), before nodding to M and leaving.

 

As soon as the door closed, the smile left the child’s face. Now he just looked like a kicked puppy. It pained Mallory’s non-existing heart, so he cleared his throat and hugged the child to his chest.

 

“Don’t worry, they’ll be fine. According to their files, these two are literally impossible to be killed. They’re the best. You’ll see.” – He felt more like he saw the tiny head nod reluctantly. – “Well, what would you like to do this evening?”

 

“Do you have a computer, sir?”

 

Mini-Q played silently on the computer for two hours or so, before getting tired of it and looking for something else to amuse himself with. So when Mallory wanted to sit down in front of the television, he found the couch already taken by his minute visitor.

 

“Hey, what are you watching?” – Asked M, gently scooting the boy a bit to the side so that he would fit onto the furniture as well.

 

“Tom and Jerry, sir. I love how they’re chasing each other constantly.”

 

“But they’re not even talking!”

 

“They can talk! There’ a movie where they even sing.”

 

“Why don’t they then?”

 

“Because they don’t think the other one would understand them.”

 

“I see.” – No, he really didn’t… - “Still, Tom won’t ever catch Jerry anyway. What’s so great about it? Wouldn’t you like to watch something else? For example, football?”

 

The withering look the boy gave him made the matter quite clear, so with a sigh, M resigned himself to watch cartoons for a week, cursing himself not to have bought a second television for his bedroom.

 

_Two and a half hours later_

 

He hadn’t ever expected he’d enjoy himself so much.

 

“Come _on_! That’s crazy!” – The man shouted at the screen as Gargamel was just about to capture Smurfette. – “Those blue beasts can’t be that stupid! Didn’t Papa Smurf tell them not to go close to Gargy and Azrael’s house!?”

 

“Yes, he did! How dumb can one get? Incredible! Run, run!” – Mini Q was by now jumping up and down, gesticulating wildly.

 

Both groaned when the Smurf girl was caught.

 

“Damn. Now she’ll have to be rescued by the others. With her stupidity, she distracts a whole village from their important work for a whole day.”

 

“If I were a Smurf, I think I’d leave her there.” – Agreed M.

 

“Which one would you be?”

 

“Why, Hefty, of course!”

 

“Why Hefty? You’re not even that strong, sir! I think you’d rather be---“

 

“If you’ll say Brainy or Clumsy, I’ll call you Baby Smurf from now on!” – Warned the man smiling.

 

“--- ahm… No, of course not. I never dreamt about calling you any of them. I meant… khm… Handy Smurf. Yes. Definitely Handy.”

 

“Wise choice. Then you can be… hmm… Snappy, maybe.”

 

“I’m not snappy!” – Snapped the boy immediately. Both started laughing at that uncontrollably.

 

Mallory couldn’t for the life of him figure out what Bond had wanted to warn him about. The boy was an angel!

 

Until next morning, that is.

 

_“Kid, what happened to the coffee maker and where is the toaster!?”_

 

“… Ouch…?”


	5. The Newest Minion in Q-Branch

Mallory had sworn after the fourth missing device (his alarm clock which fact had made him oversleep probably for the first time in his entire career by a good half an hour) never to leave the menace alone in the apartment, not even for a minute. He could already understand Bond’s warning words and wouldn’t dream of calling the boy ‘an angel’ anymore either. More like ‘Devil’, probably…

 

So, every day, while he had to work in Headquarters, he took the small boy with him to drop him off in Q-Branch. The ‘minions’ proved to be the best babysitters, taking care of the child and even having fun doing so. Mini-Q adored them as well, and most of the time, he had to be bribed at the end of the day to make him agree to leaving the building and going home. (“But, sir, I can’t possibly leave now; we’re working on an _exploding pen_!” – “If you’ll come with me now, I might just find an old radio in one of the cupboards for you to dismantle.” – “Yupee!” – “There might even be some tapes somewhere to go with it…” – “Some _whats_?”) A win-win situation for everybody.

 

On the third day, Old-Q was already waiting for them excitedly as they entered the dungeons in the morning.

 

“Mini-me! You know, what? We’re going to test the exploding pen today!”

 

“Wow!” – Exclaimed the boy excitedly, and ran up to Boothroyd to hug the eccentric, grandfatherly man. – “When? I can’t wait!”

 

“Ahm…” – M cleared his throat. – “Quartermaster, are you quite sure it is a fitting pastime for a six-year-old boy to contribute to explosions…?”

 

Old-Q just waved dismissingly at the boss, as if the other man were clearly just trying to ruin their fun without good reason.

 

“Of course, it is, he’s the future Quartermaster after all. Now, we’re going to the labs and you may leave, M. Thank you for bringing the boy by.”

 

M briefly thought about reminding Old-Q that it was still him giving orders here and not the other way around, but by the time he opened his mouth it was already too late: the two Qs were leaving, talking animatedly among themselves, clearly having already forgotten about the leader of MI6 standing there abandoned. M sighed and admitted defeat; he left to do his own work.

 

**J * B * J * B * J * B * J * B * J * B * J * B * J * B**

 

_BUMMMM_

 

The loud explosion was followed by pieces of the wooden table flying in every direction then the _thuds_ of them hitting the walls all around. Mini-Q looked on from the other side of the transparent but unbreakable glass wall with a thoughtful expression on his face, obviously not completely satisfied with the results. All members of Q-Branch (including the Quartermaster himself) turned towards him expectantly, awaiting judgement. They couldn’t see anything wrong with how things had gone but trusted the boy’s opinion enough to give it consideration.

 

They all held their breaths, not wanting to disturb the little one’s line of thoughts. You could never know with a genius when it was the wrong time to interrupt their inner debates.

 

Finally, the small boy shook his head and began to explain:

 

“I like the power of the blast but not the angle. If that had happened on a real mission, the man standing there…“ – He pointed at the puppet positioned in the room, mimicking an agent’s point of view. – “… would have gotten hit by flying pieces; possibly injured. If that happens, there’s no guarantee he can continue his work, or get away from pursuers. Too risky.”

 

Old-Q shook his head.

 

“The boy’s right. There are dents on the puppet, so it was obviously actually hit. We’ll need to work on that pen some more.” – Others agreed as well and the Quartermaster turned to his smaller counterpart. – “Mini-me, do you maybe have an idea how we should proceed?”

 

“I think I might ha----“

 

At that moment, the door to the lab burst open and a minion – the one, Mini-Q knew, was right now responsible for handling 006 and 007’s mission – ran in, frantically calling for her boss.

 

“Q, Q! We need you at the comms. There’s something with the… ahm… current international assignment…” – She obviously didn’t want to go into details in front of the child, but Mini-Q wasn’t a genius for nothing.

 

“James! Alec!” – The boy shouted before sprinting into the main area where the communication with agents happened.

 

He raced to the laptop that was meant for sweeping through maps of the city in question, and instructed the sweating minion sitting in front of it to report the happenings. The young man was so stunned at the strict, barked order from the tiny child that he obeyed without questioning the authority behind it.

 

“006 entered the building from the west side, using a window, while 007 through the south entrance. They are looking for plans that, we suspect, contain the next attack of an international terrorist group that has a warrant of caption on them already for previous onslaughts. We expected the building to be empty but they were surprised and now---“

 

“How thick do you think these terrorists are? Nobody in their right mind would leave the plans unguarded! _Of course_ , they were surprised! These people are not stupid if they were clever enough to only have the plans on paper instead of computers that can be hacked into! Never underestimate your opponent!” – Shot back the irritated boy, not caring about the fact that he was lecturing professionals around 5 times his age. Stupidity couldn’t be excused under any circumstances, in his opinion! – “Show me the blueprints of the building!”

 

“Blueprints? We don’t have any… Sir…” – Shrugged the confused minion, looking at old-Q for help, but not getting any: the old man stood to the side, pale as death, apparently unable to do anything in a chaos like that. – “We can see the front side of the building and the street before it on google map but---“

 

“Google map? _Google map!?_ You must be kidding me! Those might not even be recent satellite images!” – With that, the pint-sized child snatched the laptop from the surprised man and ran with it to the huge screen that took up most of the wall. He connected the laptop to the screen so that everyone could see in premier plan what he was doing.

 

Not that anybody understood it, mind you. Miniature fingers flew across the keyboard with unbelievable speed, making illegible script appear and change every tenth of a second on the enormous screen. Surely, nobody could work at that velocity, right!?

 

Suddenly, seemingly out of nowhere, the beforementioned blueprints appeared. The boy wasn’t done though. He printed these and then continued his silent attack against all logic and probability.

 

Now, they could see the building again, though much clearer than before ( _‘On google map, really?’_ ), and from different angles. And then, right now: the inside of the abandoned warehouse. And there was---

 

“007. Headquarters here. Do you copy?”

 

 _“Mini-Q? What are you---“_ – The agent sounded just as confused over the comms, as the people in the room felt. Where had the boy gotten the equipment from? Nobody had seen him move an inch…

 

“No time for silly chit-chat now, Agent. Listen. Two armed men are nearing from eight o’clock, other side of the wall.”

 

_“What!? How do you---“_

 

“Would you just shoot first and ask questions later?”

 

_“Well, admittedly, it’s not every day I get that instruction…”_

 

“007!”

 

_“Okay, okay!”_

 

Loud shots could be heard and everyone saw the paper-thin wall fall and the two men collapse on the other side.

 

_“May I ask questions now? What are you doing at the comms and where is our handler? Where is Q?”_

 

“I’m saving your lives. And they are both in shock, I think. Though I’m not a doctor… Is it shock if someone is standing with their mouth open, not moving or talking, just gaping like a fish?”

 

 _“Mini-Q, what did you do to them!?”_ – Joined Alec, obviously having just been added to the conversation.

 

“It’s very nice of you to think I would do anything to them! Pff… You need to go upstairs, 006, the plans are exactly a above your head in an empty room. Take the stairs to your right. 007 will cover for you while you’re getting them.”

 

_“I don’t know about the protocol of having a child telling you what to do on a mission, but this sounds reasonable enough, so I’ll do as you say. Going upstairs now.”_

 

_“I’ll second that. Where should I be headed?”_

 

“007, take a right turn at the next opportunity then the second door to your left there. You’ll find a guard – please, do take his weapon after killing him; you’re running out of munition. And I’d appreciate it if you didn’t just shoot at anything that happens to move – like that poor, innocent rat two minutes ago -, since you don’t have an unlimited supply of ammo.”

 

 _“Yes, sir…”_ – Despite the slightly sarcastic reply, he did just as he had been told. There was something in the boy’s tone that commanded unconditional obedience apparently even from professional spies.

 

“006, if you dare throw that grenade at the door I swear I’m going to tell everyone about how I always beat you at poker!”

 

 _“What should I do then, Mini-Q? The door is locked!”_ – Inquired the man a bit flustered, standing in front of the room where he was supposed to find the plans, and having a door between him and the success of the mission. – _“And it doesn’t even have a keyhole I could try!”_

 

“Of course, since it’s an electronic lock. Totally keyless. Can’t you see the touchscreen?”

 

_“Wonderful. And why am I not allowed to use the grenade then? I thought that’s what I have it for.”_

 

“Because it would bounce right back at you and explode on your chest, that’s why. Besides, I have already opened the door for you.”

 

_“How…? When…? I don’t understand…”_

_“Just take the boss’ advice, and do your work before asking questions, mate! The situation is getting rather out of hand down here…”_ – Interrupted Bond panting.

 

“Those four attackers are the last ones, 007, no worries! There’s a fire-extinguisher on the wall next to you, use it to knock the two closest to you out.”

 

 _“I have the plans!”_ – Declared Alec happily.

_“They’re all dead.”_ – Cheered James a thud and two load shots later.

 

“Awesome! I’m sending your boarding passes onto your cells right now. Business class with unlimited sandwiches and a glass of champagne. See you at home tomorrow! Good job, agents!”

 

The boy methodically shut all running programs (there were more than anyone would have thought possible) and disconnected the laptop from the screen.

 

Only after having finished wrapping up, did he turn around to face those in the room with him. He was met with stunned silence from the minions, the Quartermaster, and also M, Moneypenny and Tanner who had clearly joined them sometime during the procedure, without him noticing.

 

“Ahm… I’m not in trouble, am I?” – He asked innocently, looking from one person to the other.

 

For a while, nobody was able to answer.


	6. We Have Found Your Family

“How…? What…? What was that what you just did?” – Stuttered one of the minions unintelligently.

 

The small boy only shrugged.

 

“I hacked a few CCTVs and the security cameras of the building.” – Upon seeing the stunned faces, he quickly added: – “It’s not a big deal, really!”

 

“ _Not a big deal!?_ ” – Squeaked Old-Q. – “This is brilliant! You could see everything the agents did live and instruct them immediately! We’ll need to do this from now on! And where did you have the blueprints from? And this quickly…”

 

“From the public records; I just took a chance checking if they’ve been digitalized. Most countries have them already, I read an article about it once.”

 

“Wow.”

 

“It’s nothing, I wanted to help. I really don’t want to become an orphan…”

 

Nobody had the heart to remind him that James Bond wasn’t his father. Neither was Alec Trevelyan his brother, even if they behaved like a family.

 

Also, nobody said anything when the next morning, upon the two agents’ arrival, Mini-Q gave a loud yelp, ran towards the men and jumped into Bond’s arms, at the same time grabbing at Trevelyan’s T-shirt, pulling him closer, causing the two adults to bang their heads against the other’s because of the abrupt, unexpected movement.

 

“You’re never allowed to go out with such a poor preparation again!” – Declared the child tearfully. – “I’ll make sure you’ll have everything for your future missions!”

 

The minions should have felt offended but, strangely, they didn’t. They just smiled knowingly: it really looked like they had a new permanent member now.

 

**J * B * J * B * J * B * J * B * J * B * J * B * J * B**

 

In the evening, Mini-Q, James and Alec were sitting at home around the table, eating dinner. Or, in the boy’s case, drinking an incredible amount of tea. He seemed to be deep in thoughts.  

 

Suddenly, the boy spoke up.

 

“James, you’re sadly neglecting my education.” – It was a simple statement but so unexpected that Bond choked on the toast he was about to bite into and Trevelyan nearly spit his own tea out.

 

“Excuse me?” – Asked Bond after getting over the coughing fit.

 

“School, James! School! If I’m six years old, I need to go to school. Such are the rules.”

 

“You’re kidding, kiddo, right? You’re smarter than anyone I’ve ever known. You don’t really want to go to primary school, do you?”

 

“Of course not, Alec. But that doesn’t mean I can’t learn something else… I want to study Space Exploration, Physics, Engineering---“

 

This time it was Alec who choked on his croissant while James stared at Mini-Q as if he were seeing an alien.

 

“You want to study all these? Why?”

 

“--- and Mathematics. And yes, because I know that in the future we’ll be sending agents into the Space and I want to be one of the leader developers of the Space program for double-o agents! Or whatever they’ll be called. Maybe Astro-Agents or Space-Defenders…” – Explained the boy excitedly. – “Just imagine all the possibilities if we start using the Space as well, not only for explorations like now but for real! We could travel there and live on different planets. It would be so cool!”

 

James turned to Alec.

 

“I told you not to introduce Star Wars to him yet. Just look what it did to the poor boy!”

 

“Surely, it’s not my fault he has a vivid imagination! But, Mini-Q, you really want to go up in a tin?”

 

“Alec, you weren’t paying attention to me at all!?” – Argued the small child scandalized. – “I would never ever get into a spaceship. Or even an airplane. I want to do what Q-Branch does: give support from the base. I want to be an aerospace engineer! I want to design the space vehicles and weapons that work up there. I want to explore possibilities and test my ideas. I want to lead missions over the comms just like I did with you two---“

 

“And we’ll need to talk about that, young man!” – Warned Bond sternly.

 

“--- I want to be a Q-Branch worker. It’s just a Q-Branch in the future… The Space _is_ the future!” – The little boy had stood up on his stool during his speech and waved his arms around as if drawing in air with an invisible pencil. The two men had tried unsuccessfully to make him sit down again; the child hadn’t even noticed their efforts. So, they were just standing on each side, ready to catch him, should he fall. – “I want to research aviation safety options and build new satellites! And we’ll have to manage commercial air transport as well. Not to mention sending agents out with enough ammunition for their mission when we don’t have much space to pack into. And we’ll need to catch space pirates and---“

 

“Hold on, hold on! Take a deep breath! That’s it. Now breathe out. Sit down, please. Okay. So, listen. You have undoubtedly very… creative ideas. And that’s super, really. But your family will have to decide what and when you can study. You’re their responsibility.”

 

“But James, we don’t even know if I _have_ a family! The two of you are my guardians now.”

 

The agents looked at each other, not really sure what to say.

 

Alec cleared his throat.

 

“Listen, munchkin. You do know that it’s only temporary, right? Besides, I don’t think any of us has been made officially your guardian. We don’t have any real rights regarding you.”

 

The child thought for a second before shrugging.

 

“We can help that easily: I’ll just hack into the system and---“

 

“NO! You will do no such thing. No hacking, Mini-Q.”

 

“But, James, it would be totally official, really! I could make a certificate and all.”

 

“Listen, let’s just continue dinner, all right? We don’t have to talk about your status right now.” – Seeing the boy’s put out expression, James sighed. –  “Would you maybe like to watch Ducktales after your bath?”

 

But the mini genius was apparently sulking because – while both men knew he would be happy about one of his favorite cartoons any other time – he only shrugged his shoulders and refused to acknowledge the question any other way.

 

**J * B * J * B * J * B * J * B * J * B * J * B * J * B**

 

Christmas was nearing and everyone was feeling the festive spirit already. James Bond had never really cared for any holiday before but having an overexcited six-year-old child around changed things for him this year: him and Alec had already bought the boy various books on aerospace engineering and space study, and of course lots and lots of DVDs with ancient cartoons he might not have seen yet at all, like the collection of Winnie the Pooh’s 1966-1983 Disney movies and Alvin and the Chipmunks (from the 80s of course).

 

They had decided they would take a few days off right after the traditional MI6 Christmas party then head to Skyfall, Scotland, to show the little one his old home and introduce him to the gamekeeper, Kincade. He was sure the child would be ecstatic about the landscape and the enormous house, even if it wasn’t in its best shape anymore. He had promised Alec to show him his birthplace ages ago anyway, so it was fitting they should head out all together.

 

“It’s a castle?” – Inquired the small boy excitedly as James was trying to tie a scarf around his neck; with all the wiggling the child was doing, it wasn’t an easy task at all.

 

“No, not a castle.” – Chuckled Bond. – “Just a mansion. Ah, stay still just for a second, please!”

 

“Okay.” – Said Mini-Q and stopped jumping up and down. He started turning around in circles instead. – “And what’s that like? A chateau?”

 

“Not exactly. You’ll see in just a week and a half. I think you’ll like it. Where are your gloves?”

 

“I don’t know. Are there ghosts?”

 

Trevelyan whipped his head around at that, chancing a sideway glance at his best friend while saying:

 

“You’re never reading Harry Potter again!”

 

James just shook his head.

 

“No real ghosts, at any rate.” – He then gave a triumphant cry upon finding the tiny gloves in one of the drawers under the hallway mirror.

 

“Well… vampires then? Or do they only live in Romania and Russia?”

 

“Oh, Jesus. Just put on your boots and coat, please. We’ll be late.”

 

“No, we won’t. We still have 23 minutes and 12 seconds to be in HQ. Well, only 10 secs now… Alec, will you take me to Russia to see vampires?”

 

006 was about to respond when James’ phone started ringing. Glad for the interruption of the conversation that was quickly getting out of hand, the agent responded.

 

“Yes, M?” – He listened for a while and also said ‘hmmm’ a few times with furrowed brow before disconnecting the call and turning towards the child.

 

“It looks like they have found your folks.”

 

**J * B * J * B * J * B * J * B * J * B * J * B * J * B**

 

The boy should have been happy. And yet, he didn’t seem to be. Not at all. He looked especially small and very pathetic as he shuffled after the two, strangely grim agents on the corridors of MI6, towards Q-Branch. While the child was usually hyper and bubbly whenever he had the opportunity to enter the ‘kingdom of nerds’, now he just didn’t appear to have the energy to as much as step through the threshold.

 

Of course, ever so slowly, they finally arrived at their destination, where Old-Q and the other minions were already waiting for them.

 

“We found your father thanks to the announcement we gave out.” – Explained the Quartermaster. – “We cross-examined every information he has on you and it all fits. You’re name’s Timothy Dowell. You live with your father in Reading. Your mother has sadly passed away years ago and you don’t have siblings. You’re father’s called Zacharias.”

 

R continued.

 

“We checked him. He’s telling the truth about his identity and he really does have a little boy of five – you’ll only be six at the end of December, I’m afraid – who went missing late September. He went to the police and the description fits.”

 

“So, you’re ‘Tim’, hmm? Cute name. Fits you.” – Tried to joke Alec.

 

The boy sunk his head.

 

“I don’t feel like a ‘Tim’.”

 

“Why, what should being a ‘Tim’ feel like?”

 

“I don’t know. Surely, not like this.”

 

“What do you feel like then? Timmy, maybe?”

 

“I think… Mini-Q…”

 

“Does anything sound familiar to you?” – Asked James gently, trying to steer the subject away from names, as it was apparently a sore point for the little one. Quite honestly: _he_ couldn’t call the boy ‘Tim’ either.

 

“No.”

 

“Well. I’m sure it will all come back to you when you’ll see your dad.”

 

“Yeah… Possible…”

 

The Quartermaster cleared his throat.

 

“Mini-me, your father is waiting for you in the Café across the street. We told him you’d go there as soon as we’ll have explained everything to you. So…”

 

“What? Already? But...” – Began Alec but then shook his head sadly. – “Of course they would want to see each other right away after spending so much time separated. Come on, munchkin, we’ll take you there.”

 

With that the two men took hold of each hand of the boy and proceeded to walk him to said meeting place.

 

**J * B * J * B * J * B * J * B * J * B * J * B * J * B**

 

They found the boy’s father without problems: the little boy creepily resembled his old dad, there was no doubt anymore about the man saying the truth.

 

Alec asked anyway, just to make sure:

 

“Mr. Dowell? Zacharias Dowell?”

 

The man stood up smiling and reached out to shake the two agents’ hand.

 

“Yes, that would be me.” – He looked down at Mini-Q. – “Oh, my son! My Timmy! Thank God! I was afraid I’d never see you again!”

 

He hugged the boy tightly, not even noticing him flinching uncomfortably at the touch.

 

“Mr. Dowell, we don’t know what happened to your son, but he doesn’t remember anything. So, this might be a bit uncomfortable for him now…” – Bond hurried to help.

 

“Of course, of course… I’m sorry, I just couldn’t help myself. I mean… Oh, my God, I have found my son. He’s the only one I have left! His mother died…”

 

“Yes, we heard; I’m sorry.” – Said Alec. – “May we sit down? You can talk to Min--- I mean, Timmy, and let him get used to you… We can arrange for you to meet regularly until he feels safe enough to go home with you…”

 

“WHAT!?” – The man roared, suddenly angry, before noticeably forcing a fake-calm smile onto his face. – “Of course, we may sit down to talk. But after that I would like to take my son home.”

 

The child looked up panicky.

 

“You mean right away? But Mr. Dowell, I…”

 

“You call me ‘dad’, Timmy.”

 

“Ahm… yes… ahm… d--- khm…” – Mini-Q looked at his two stunned guardians as if asking for help. – “James, Alec and I had plans for the holidays… We wanted to travel, and I thought that maybe we might still---”

 

“I’m sorry but we have a lot to do over Christmas. We will travel as well: we always visit your uncle in Ireland, don’t you remember?”

 

“Ahm… no, I don’t…”

 

“But he remembers! You wouldn’t want to offend him, would you? You know he lives alone and is very lonely all year. He can’t wait for Christmas to see his favorite nephew.”

 

“I didn’t know… But…”

 

“So, you’d like to hurt him because you don’t remember him?” – Asked the man with a meaningful look at his son.

 

“I guess not… But---“

 

“No buts young man! We need to get going tomorrow.”

 

“Tomorrow? But Christmas is still 9 days away!”

 

“So? You’ve always liked spending as much time as possible in Ireland.”

 

James didn’t like that plan. He didn’t like it at all.

 

“Mr. Dowell, can you tell us about your son, please? He couldn’t recall anything about his life, for still unknown reasons, but he seems such a delightful lad.”

 

“Oh, he is, sir, I can assure you! And I’m most grateful for you for having returned him to me!” – He petted the boy’s head and the child flinched again. Everyone in MI6 knew by now that he hated having his hair ruffled and wild even more than it already was.

 

Both agents noticed naturally that the man had avoided answering James’ question but before any of them could as much as open their mouth to point it out, the man clapped his hands together.

 

“I think it’s time for us to go. Come on, son!”

 

“But… Mr Do--- I mean… d--- ahm… What about my things…?”

 

“What things?”

 

“The things I have at Alec and James’ apartment. Clothes and books and toys…”

 

“You have everything you need at home. Mr… sorry, I didn’t quite catch your names. Anyway: I thank you again for having returned my boy to me. I’m in debt to you for ever because of that. I’m sorry but we really must hurry up to get ready for travel early in the morning tomorrow. Son, say goodbye to the nice men and come!”

 

“Mr. Dowell, don’t you want to know what happened to your son and with whom he spent the last months? You could visit us and see his room in our home---“ – Tried Alec, desperately stalling for more time. While he knew the father had every right to take away his son, he just couldn’t let go of Mini-Q so suddenly.

 

“I’m sure he’ll tell me everything on the way. I really don’t want to hold you up any more. I know having the boy around must have caused you a lot of trouble anyway. If you want to charge me anything for keeping him---“

 

“Of course not! It was a pleasure!” – Bond actually looked scandalized.

 

“Right. Thank you. Son.” – With that he grabbed the small, sobbing child’s arm and all but pulled him from the café. Some guests even looked at them funny, trying to guess what the drama was about.

 

The two agents jumped up and tried to follow but the boy was already being ushered into a cab. They drove away, leaving James and Alec standing at the door, feeling horrified and mournful.


	7. Your Real Family is Where Your Heart is

The boy sat in the backseat of the taxi beside the man that claimed to be his father, searchingly watching him. Something felt funny. He might look like a carbon copy of his ‘dad’, and this certain Mr. Dowell might have appeared very happy to have found him but something still was out of place with this whole situation.

 

Was it normal behavior for a parent to be more worried about visiting a distant relative in Ireland than making sure your confused child – the one you had thought dead for months by the way – was all right and didn’t suffer because of the sudden changes? Shouldn’t he want to awaken deep-buried memories in his son first instead of simply ‘kidnapping’ him from the place that to all intents and purposes was like a home to him now? Would everyone else take him from his guardians like that even if he didn’t remember his previous life and was absolutely terrified, not to mention heartbroken about it?

 

Somehow, the small child doubted this was the normal procedure of finding your missing son and getting reacquainted with him.

 

“Ahm… where are we going now?”

 

The man didn’t react in any way to the question, so the boy tried again.

 

“Sir? Do you maybe know what happened to me? Why can’t I remember?”

 

Again nothing.

 

“Mr. D--- I mean… _dad_ … ahm… I would like to call James and Alec. May I use your cell? Or maybe the landline when we get home? Please?”

 

“ _Shut up!_ ” – Snapped the man.

 

The little boy stared wide eyed but didn’t dare utter any more words during the whole ride. What kind of mess had he gotten himself into!?

 

**J * B * J * B * J * B * J * B * J * B * J * B * J * B**

 

As soon as they stepped through the threshold of a small, sparsely furnished flat in the middle of London, the man firmly locked the door behind them and turned angrily to the child.

 

“What the hell is wrong with you!? Are you totally out of your mind?”

 

The miniature genius quivered.

 

“Sir, I don’t know what you mean… Don’t we live in Reading? Why did we drive around in London for half an hour? In whose apartment are we now?”

 

“Reading? You’re kidding me!? You can drop the stupid act! Go to the computer and do your work! I’ve been without money for months because of you, you little shite! I should make you go without food and water for days because of that! As a matter of fact, I think I’ll do just that!” – Spat the man with venom. – “Na, what are you standing here, looking at me like that for? Get to work! The bank accounts won’t hack themselves!”

 

“Bank acc--?” – But at that moment, out of the blue, everything became clear.

 

Memories started to flood his mind, making his head spin at a dizzying speed: he was climbing out a window in the middle of the night, falling down from frightening heights. Then he was running on the street despite his aching back, very cold and scared. He realized someone was chasing him, trying to catch up. He ran and ran and ran, until he thought he wouldn’t be able to move anymore. He kept looking behind to see how far his pursuer had come. He was too close! He tried to run faster but it seemed impossible. The man was catching up to him and then---- BAMMMMMM!

 

“Oh… I was hit by a car! You watched me get hit and then left me there injured! When I woke up I didn’t know who I was… I just staggered around confusedly until James found me! YOU LEFT ME THERE! You didn’t even call an ambulance!”

 

“What else should I have done, you little bastard!? You looked dead! I didn’t want to get into trouble, the police would have asked uncomfortable questions! Besides, what good can you do me if you die!? The dead can’t hack.”

 

“ _You_ are the bastard!” – The child shouted with tears running down his cheeks. – “You left your own son to die and didn’t care! You’re a monster!”

 

“Really? I wasn’t the only one who left you, you know. Or what do you think the driver did? He was glad nobody saw what happened and just drove away. Nobody cares for you!”

 

“That’s not true! James and Alec do!”

 

“They do? I didn’t see them fight for you all that much. Maybe they were even glad to be rid of you.”

 

“No…” – But there was a certain sad truth in the statement… They were assassins, they could have stopped them from leaving and yet they just stood by and watched… Maybe they really didn’t care?

 

“See? I’m telling the truth. I’m always telling the truth; I’m your father. So, sonny, get your skinny butt into that room and transfer me as much money as possible without getting caught doing it. I have debts and if I won’t be able to pay them soon, I might just give _you_ to them instead!”

 

“You wouldn’t!” – Gaped the boy. But deep down he knew the man would do it, without a second thought. – “What did you get yourself into? Is someone threatening you?”

 

“It’s none of your business! Into the room! NOW!

 

The child backed into the wall then made a beeline to the room that he now knew was used to keep him locked up there with only a computer to do the man’s bidding.

 

**J * B * J * B * J * B * J * B * J * B * J * B * J * B**

 

The child remembered everything now: that had been going on for ages. He was always locked into that tiny room that only had one window – it bore bars now that had been put up recently, presumably to prevent him getting away again – and a ragged, dirty mattress on the floor. Aside from that, it was totally bare, save for a computer connected to the internet. That was all he had; it was his life: hacking into bank accounts to transfer money to the man’s so that he could go out and buy his cigarettes, alcohol and occasionally drugs.

 

The child hated drugs the most, because they always made Dowell Sr. even meaner than he originally was (and that said a lot). Those were the times he was the most prone to forget about feeding the boy at least with some dried bread once a day and give him two or three cups of water. No wonder he looked two years younger than his normal age…

 

He hated this life and he hated that man! He absolutely refused to steal from others just so that he could get more stuff!

 

“I won’t do it! I won’t, I won’t, I won’t!” – He repeated to himself again and again over his tears.

 

That was exactly why he had tried to flee. And, absolutely by chance, he had found a place he liked to be and people he loved. A home.

 

“Why am I here again? WHY!?” – He sobbed.

 

After a while he realized something: sitting there, crying about his destiny surely wouldn’t help him any. He’d have to act! There might be bars on the window this time around, but still, now he had something he hadn’t had the last time: friends he could turn to.

 

He didn’t really believe for a minute that James and Alec didn’t want him. They were just stupid, but it was all right: people usually were. Especially adults. And then there were Mr. Mallory, Miss Moneypenny and Uncle Bill. And Old-Q and the minions. They liked him, he just knew they did!

 

With a determination he wasn’t sure where he’d gotten from, he sat down by the computer to hack. But this time, it wouldn’t be anyone’s bank account he would attack with full force. This time, it would be the impenetrable MI6.

 

**J * B * J * B * J * B * J * B * J * B * J * B * J * B**

James and Alec sat in Q-Branch. The usually pulsing, lively atmosphere was this time totally missing. Today, everyone seemed to be downcast, even sad. Aside from the minions and Old-Q, also Bill, Eve and Mallory were present.

 

“I can’t believe he just took Mini-Q like that! Not even time to say goodbye. Or to take his things…” – Lamented Alec for probably the twelfth time.

 

“I can’t believe you let him do it.” – Replied Eve with angrily blazing eyes. – “You’re double-o agents for God’s sake, you really couldn’t make the man stay for just a little while? None of us even got to see the poor baby to give him a hug!”

 

“What should we have done, Eve? It was his father! He has every right to decide where his son can stay and how he spends Christmas.”

 

“Even if you found the whole scenario suspicious?” – Asked Tanner. The two agents had already recounted the happenings to the others and they had also told them about their misgivings. Everyone agreed that things had gone really strange indeed. – “I mean, if that whole thing had happened to any of my kids, I’d have wanted to thank those who took care of them and wanted to see where they lived while they were missing.”

 

“Yes, even then. We didn’t have any evidence against the man. The fact that he’s a git, isn’t enough to take the boy away from him. Sadly.” – Nodded Bond dejectedly.

 

“I think tha---“ – Right at that moment, the big screen started to vibrate then suddenly a message appeared on it with huge, red letters:

 

_‘HELP!!!!_

_PLEASE, COME FOR ME!! MINI-Q’_

 

There were also coordinates that the minions immediately searched on the map to find the location of the lost child.

 

“It’s not far away from here!” – Stated Alec as soon as the red dot appeared, signaling the place.

 

“Let’s go!” – Commanded Mallory and with that, he, Eve, Tanner and the two agents ran with a lightning speed towards the garage for their cars.

 

**J * B * J * B * J * B * J * B * J * B * J * B * J * B**

 

When they arrived at the house that had been marked on the map for them, they got out of the cars and walked around the building, trying to find out where the little boy could be.

 

“Why are there bars on that window? I mean, it’s on the third floor, surely, it’s not to keep someone out---“ – Began Eve, pointing to said place.

 

“---But to keep someone IN.” – Finished Bill for her, looking like he was about to get sick.

 

“Would someone be able to get out through there though? It’s quite high up.” – Mused M, knowing exactly who the ‘someone’ in everyone’s mind would be.

 

“ _He_ could if he really wanted to.” – Stated Bond as they entered the building.

 

They walked cautiously up the stairs, trying not to make any sound. Being agents and an ex-agent (or in Bill’s case: the loyal Chief of Staff of MI6), it wasn’t a problem for them. As soon as they got to the door that they thought could belong to the window with bars, they heard shouts from inside.

 

_“Why aren’t you finished yet? What have you been doing in here this whole time; sleeping, boy?”_

 

 _“No, I just---“_ – That was definitely their boy’s voice! And he sounded very frightened!

 

_“I’ll give you idling, you little scamp! You’re not with your new friends anymore! If I won’t have my money in an hour, you’re dead, do you understand!?”_

_“Yeah…”_

_“I can’t hear you!”_

_“Yes, sir.”_

_“Good. The-----“_

 

At that moment, the door banged open from M’s violent kick with such a force that it embedded itself into the wall behind it and stayed there for good.

 

“Wow, sir, you’re strong.” – Marveled Moneypenny with wide eyes.

 

“Well, I guess I might be Hefty after all!” – Answered the man shrugging as the agents rushed into the room to find Mini-Q quivering in fear, silently crying with Zacharias Dowell looming over him threateningly.

 

“Mr. Dowell, if I were you, I really wouldn’t finish that sentence.” – Warned Bond, gun held ready.

 

The man didn’t seem to realize what kind of danger he was in.

 

“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE!? Get out of my house!”

 

“We will. But you’ll come with us. Mr. Dowell: you’re arrested for child abuse, drug abuse and fraud. And who knows what else. You’ll come with us to the nearest police station.” – Said Bill, grabbing the stunned man’s left arm.

 

“A friendly suggestion from me: you should get your things; I don’t think you’ll be coming back for them in the foreseeable future.” – Continued Mallory, grabbing the criminal’s other arm and steering him out of the room so that the boy wouldn’t have to see him anymore.

 

“You came for me!” – Exclaimed the small child, straightening up. – “You really came for me! I thought maybe you were glad to be rid of me…”

 

“You’re kidding, right? You’re stuck with us, kitten!” – Said Alec.

 

Mini-Q looked up hopefully.

 

“Does that mean I’m finally allowed to forge those guardianship papers?”

 

“No.” – Shook his head James. Seeing the child’s put out expression, he quickly added smiling. – “I thought maybe we could get real adoption documents instead.”

 

“Really?!”

 

“Only if you want it, of cour---“

 

“YEAH!!”

 

“I think that’s settled then.” – Grinned Alec, not minding the ringing in his ears from the boy’s shout at all. 

 

The little one jumped into James’ arms while pulling Alec closer as well. This time, the men were ready though and avoided collision with each other. They immediately hugged the child back tightly.

 

**J * B * J * B * J * B * J * B * J * B * J * B * J * B**

 

_10 days later_

 

The paperwork had been done pretty quickly, thanks to Bill and M’s connections. The child belonged officially to James Bond and Alec Trevelyan now. Of course, they were constantly teased about surely being married if they adopted a child together but they strangely didn’t mind and only answered: ‘Well, we’ve been living together long enough anyway. It was time to move a bit forward in our relationship.’ Usually, that was enough to shut up even the nosiest of people.

 

Mini-Q’s take on things had only gone like that:

_“Isn’t it a bit unusual to have two dads instead of a mom and a dad?”_

_“Yes, I guess it is. Does it bother you?”_

_“Not in the slightest. I hate normal; it’s boring.”_

_“I’m glad you think like that, because you’re anything but normal.”_

 

After that, it hadn’t been mentioned again.

 

The Christmas party at MI6 had been a hit the day before, so now everyone was a bit tired as they prepared for leaving for Skyfall. Everyone, except for the hyper six-year-old, that is.

 

“How long ‘till we get to the manor? Will Mr. Kincade like me? Are there other kids my age? Are there animals? And you’re absolutely sure there aren’t any _ghosts_ or _vampires_?”

 

“Grr… Alexander Jamie Trevelyan-Bond, you come here and put on your coat right now, mister!” – Groaned 007 as he grabbed the squirming boy’s arm and gently pulled him back from the door, where he was about to escape wearing only a pullover and his slippers. – “And don’t forget your boots either! You’ll catch a pneumonia one day, I swear!”

 

“But it’s warm in the car!” – Complained the child but he did as he had been told anyway. – “And may I bring my new books?” – He asked, referring to the thick volumes on aerospace engineering he had gotten the day before as Christmas presents.

 

“I thought you had already read all of them?”

 

“I have. Twice. But I think there might be some footnotes I don’t yet know by heart.”

 

James chuckled while Alec shook his head exasperated.

 

“Whatever, bring them. I really don’t know how we’ll keep up with your thirst for knowledge, munchkin. By the time you start your studies in January, you’ll know more about the subject than any of the professors…”

 

That was true. Mini-Q (everyone usually still called him that) was so excited about beginning his university courses the next term that he wanted to study everything in advance, so as not to ‘appear dumb among all the big students’. As if he could ever appear dumb anywhere.

 

“But, Alec, I have to be the best if I want to revolutionize the space travel! If a professor knows more than I, how am I going to write studies and develop new things nobody has thought of before?”

 

“Mini-Q, you’re six years old. I don’t think you have to worry about running out of time to reform the whole universe.” – Assured James.

 

Alec looked pointedly at his watch before saying:

 

“But I think we can worry about running out of time getting out of the city before the traffic if we don’t get a move on soon! Come on, boys!”

 

“YUPEE!”

 

The small boy raced out of the apartment, closely followed by Alec. Bond just shook his head amused: those lunatics were really two of a kind. He picked up the car key his friend had forgotten on the table and took a last look around to make sure everything would be fine while they’d be gone. He then locked the door and walked down the stairs to join the others.

 

_The end_


End file.
